It is the controversy surrounding Berlusconi’s decision to restore Mars’s penis to an ancient Roman statue that is misplaced

A combination picture shows the marble statue of ‘Venus and Mars’ before (L) and after (R) restoration. Photograph: Reuters

I can picture the scene. Berlusconi checks his email. “Ever wanted a larger member…?” He pauses, thinks about it for a while. “Well, I’ve had the hair done, and it might impress the young ladies at the forthcoming orgy.” He looks up at Mars, the statue of the heroic god of ancient Rome painstakingly chiselled from the finest Carrara 1,835 years previous. Venus is draped over his shoulder adoringly. However Mars, far from appearing as the revered übermensch warrior of antiquity, resembles John Wayne Bobbitt after a fight with his ex-wife. Then it hits him: “Che buon’ idea! I shall restore his manhood!”

via Silvio Berlusconi’s restoration work is no cock-up | Tim Williams | Comment is free | guardian.co.uk.